Before you dive in, I want to tell you something.
Come here before you start, or come back when you're done.
Either way, you're in the right place.
Now that you know your eight, let’s check in.
This one's for after. Once you've chosen your eight traits and taken your best shot at the parent and grandparent pages — however far you got — come back and press play. I'll be here.
Still here? Good. That means you're ready. Press play and let's talk about what just happened to you.
There’s a study you need to know about.
In 2001, researchers at Emory University asked kids 20 simple questions about their family history. What they found was surprising — knowing where you come from turns out to be one of the strongest predictors of resilience and personal identity. Not just for kids. For all of us. This video walks you through the research and why it connects directly to the cards you just used.
RESOURCES:
The full paper is behind a paywall, but here is a great summary that includes the 20 questions, and the point that it’s not about the facts that kids know, it’s about what knowing those facts represents. Marshall Duke's HuffPost piece
Your DNA doesn’t tell you who you are.
You already know you inherited your dad's nose and your mom's laugh. But your DNA doesn't tell the whole story of who you are — and science can explain why. This video introduces epigenetics — the study of how your experiences and environment influence which parts of your DNA actually get expressed. And why that means you have more say in who you become than you might think.
RESOURCES:
The 2021 paper — "The Role of Epigenetics in Psychological Resilience"
About that shadow side…
If one of your eight traits made you a little uncomfortable to claim — good. That's the shadow doing its job. But before you decide it's a flaw you need to fix, watch this. Because the shadow side of your traits isn't the opposite of your gift, which means you don’t need to abandon it, just notice the trait, and choose differently next time.
Most of your moments aren’t worth writing down.
You've chosen your eight traits. Now comes the part where you actually use them — not just to understand yourself, but to see yourself more clearly every single day. This video is about the specific kinds of stories worth capturing, why they matter more than you think, and what to do if the people you want to learn from are no longer around.
A good next step is to take a DNA test to further explore your own identity and your connection to your family. Learn more about DNA testing here.
Now try pushing your traits forward…
You've traced your traits back to the people who came before you. Now try looking in the other direction — at the younger people in your life who share your DNA.
Get a second opinion
Hand your cards to someone who knows you well and ask them to choose for you. What they see might be exactly what you've been missing — and telling them what you see in return isn't a bad way to spend an afternoon.